too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
