u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
