Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
