So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
