I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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