Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
