matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
