you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
