All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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