I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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