there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
