i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
