I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
