Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
