Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i will never coherently bang her
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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