All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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