I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
