i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
