You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
