And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
