i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
