i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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