just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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