were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
