Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
