He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
