we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
