he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
