Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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