when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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