using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
