am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
