problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
