i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
