Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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