wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
