did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
