Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
