Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
