what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
