I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
