I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
