i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
