At least make sure they are 18
Why
it's like iHOP with fire
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
