I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize