is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
