Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
