I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We need to get me chipped asap
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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