i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
