he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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