It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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