I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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