remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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