Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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