can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
