I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
