Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
