Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
