its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do herpes really smell.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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