And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize