Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize